I am back in Melbourne. A bit different when friends and neighbours are all away. haha.. A new life, I reckon. Not really looking forward for fifth year. Oh well, need to pretend to be super interested because hopefully can get some really good referees. 
Casey Hospital, I am coming soon..
But first thing first, need to wash Da Hong ASAP.
Oh ya, first time got homesick. Haha…
Finally, I am back in Kuching with my dear dear. It was hot.. But I like it.
The results came out today. By God’s grace, I passed my forth year. I am really happy for that. But I still have a long way to go before I become a good/skillful doctor. There are still a lot more for me to learn.
Bringing my dear dear to Kuching. I really hope she will enjoy her stay here. After 3 days, we need to start our ‘long distance’ relationship for a month. Dear dear, I will miss you everyday. =)
After 20 hours of travelling, we reached JB at 3am, 11 Dec 11.
It feels really good to be here. With great people and great food. Thank you Lord for give us this wonderful break to re-charge ourselves before go back to Melbourne and continue to serve You.
2011, what a wonderful year. Congratulations for all my friends who graduated this year. Although I am very sad that most of you are leaving me, I still need to thank you all of you for becoming my friends. Life without you all there must be very different next year. I will miss you all.
Finally, I can relax and do nothing for the whole day. It has been really hard. Studied really hard for half a year and yet still borderline. Really disappointed with myself. Feel shame to my friends and family. I think I don’t deserve such a bunch of friends and family. Really hurt.. Really painful.
The tear.. Not sure how many times I almost broke to tear. The tear of disappointment. The tear of fear. The tear of shame.
“Remember to give thanks and ask for guidance.”
“Remember this happened for a purpose.”
“Don’t give up because God never give up on you.”
“Don’t be scared because fear is not from God.”
“You are not alone.”
It’s easy to regain myself back because of the supportive friends and family members. However, it’s also a truth that my mental health was at a crisis. For the first time in my life, I experienced depression. I lost appetite, I avoided people, I don’t care about myself anymore.
Cannot remember how I turned back to normal. But I know it is because of my dear dear, my friends, my family and my God.
“Yes, Father. I know it happened for a purpose. I know it must be very painful to you as well to let all these happened to me. I will treasure these feelings. I will treasure this trial of life. Take me, mold me, use me, fill me, call me, guide me, lead me and walk beside me. I give my life to the potter’s hand.”
It is easier to give thanks with all our heart when facing the difficulties. It is easier to learn to summit yourself, your problems to the Almighty during the difficulties. It is easier to renew your faith during this time.
What in front of me is an absolute emptiness. Yes, I know God is there and there is no darkness in God for darkness is not from God. I am facing an uncertain future but knowing I will be fine, an unknown future but full with hope, a challenging future but full with joy.
The results of the exam is not important anymore. Giving is better than receiving. Giving your best is more important than receiving a good results. Giving yourself to others/God is more joyful than receiving blessings from others.
Could I ever thank You for
What You did at Calvary
When You bled and died for me
How could I ever turn away
Knowing that You paid the price
That I could never pay
Finally, the exams are over. Yes, this might be my last exam!! Have been studied hard since mid of this year. 5 or 6 months of hard work.. 5 or 6 months of “6 hours sleeping” and “hardcore studying”. It’s a blessing that I did not burn out.
I reckon I need to thank a lot of people for this. Dear dear, my hall mates/course mates, my study buddies, those who prayed for me, those who encouraged me, family…. Thank you for everything.
Finally got time to relax and think about my life. Listening to the song “Irresistible” by Hillsong. Googled and like this verse,
~~Whenever I call, You’re there
Redeemer and friend
Cherished beyond all words
This love never ends~~~
I owed our God a big THANK YOU. I know I have done my best and I will leave the rest to You. I might be disappointed if You decided not to give me what I wan, who won’t? But I know You only give me the best. So, thank you thank you, Lord. “And I will run to You… by the Spirit of God”
Haha.. Sorry guys, I know it’s all over the places. Have been a while since the last time I update..
